1. |
Disappearing Act
05:04
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When you were too sad to speak, the silence was deafening. I aim to kill all of the memories. I aim to drive until I'm not longer lost. But I'm petrified that I'll never find that weary road back home. I don't remember any of my dreams, but I've been waking with this unknown sense of dread. Like there's a nightmare, though slowly fading, pirouetting on the tip of my tongue. I awoke today, thank god. I don't feel any better, but at least I know I'm still alive. I awoke today, thank god. There isn't a dream left in my head. I'm sick of giving myself away to these things that only abandon in the end. I fall in love with these ideals and when perfection doesn't resonate I repeat the cycle again. I guess I'm getting what I deserve, but it's tearing me in two. And when you give your best, you can expect the worst back. I'm tired of the emptiness. I'm tired of the pain. I'm sifting through these substitutes but it's just not the same. I'll retreat inwards to the darkest places, say hello again to these ghosts of you, and curl up with these shadows.....the only thing left to hold on to. Can I find comfort in myself? Can I find comfort in my past? I tried to fix these problems but found that they were far too vast. I'm being honest with myself, but for the first time I hate what I have found. And I can't shake this, I can't rid this, and I'll be buried with this in the ground.
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2. |
The Giver
04:00
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I'm forgetting all the street signs, all the shortcuts I used to take to purge myself of the hatred I feel when I'm awake. Erase me. Erase it all. I'd gladly give away these vibrant hues of blue and gold if I could only put down this cross and rest these tired bones. The gentle quiet after the first snow turns to a dark depressing winter. I'm slowly dying just like these trees. My branches ache under the weight. You can keep all recollection. I've become that old man in the Lois Lowry book. The one with the desolate eyes fixated on the ground. All these disappointments, they're taking their toll. There's a reason I can't look anyone in the eyes anymore. There's a reason I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore. There's a reason I can't look at you. There's a reason that I can't.
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3. |
Devils
03:31
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All the devils are here, time to sign on the dotted line. All the devils are here, and they're gnashing their gold teeth. You've sold us down this river of crude oil and derivatives. All the devils are here. There's a book of ethics in every Wall Street firm and the pages, they're all blank.
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4. |
Better Places Than Here
05:26
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We're no longer walking down these train tracks trying to coax gravity into keeping our balance on the rails. And we're no longer kicking rocks as our feet slowly shuffle along, slowly shuffle along. The rocks are getting larger, yeah they're weighing me down. My fears are getting the best of me. Do you remember those lofty goals we'd dream up on your front porch late at night? What went wrong? When exactly did growing up turn into giving up? I've always figured out my life in stride, but I feel like I've been hit upside the head with a brick. And I'm sick with mixed feelings, I'm reeling for a wish that I can use to answer all of my questions. I figured out so much about understanding and acceptance on this wooden sanctuary that I feel like I've been hardened over. We used to walk the tracks, but we've been swept up by a whirlwind. And who's to say where it will drop us? Can we all take a second to remember how we used to have so much to say, and now we have so little time to say it? But with all of the do's and the don'ts....the wills and the won'ts.....who cares? We're moving forward on a train with no destination like lambs to the slaughter these days. And this is it. This is it. The more you know, the more depressing everything seems. And there are things that you don't want to know but have to learn. Things that you don't want to happen but have to accept. And there are people that you can't live without but have to let go. Here's to hoping that we'll be in a better place in a little while. That we'll age well.
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